As mentioned in my previous post – till now, there have only been three specific instances when I saw visuals or images during meditation. The first instance marks the initiation of my spiritual journey, when I saw baba during meditation. In this case, the visuals seen by my closed eyes were every bit as clear as something I would see with my open eyes. The other two visuals, as described in Kundalini Experiences part 3 and part 4, were a bit hazy. They were more close to those images which our mind creates through vivid imagination of a person, place, or an event etc. However, the experience I’m about to describe in this post goes beyond seeing visuals to actually living them in reality. This specific experience is unique because it happened during my normal wakeful state with open eyes (not meditating, dreaming or hallucinating). It is arguably the most beautiful spiritual experience I’ve ever had but also the most difficult one to describe in words.
So, …I was reading a spiritual book in my room…. While doing so I usually tend to intermittently stop and ponder over the words especially if they seem to convey a deeper meaning. During that process I could either be thinking with my eyes closed or I could be gazing idly at something or somewhere. In this specific case I was staring at the wall in front, when suddenly, I felt that I was being sucked into that wall. Simultaneously I heard an inner voice telling me – ‘I AM this wall’! Now, come on, I’ve been called many things by many people but never a ‘wall’! 🙂 Call me crazy but the craziness didn’t just stop there.
It so happens that my room is located at the extreme end in our house and I saw myself piercing and passing through the rest of the walls as if they were nothing! Interestingly, I didn’t see my own body, I only saw other things that were around me and every time I would see anything I would hear an inner voice telling me that – that thing was me. For example, when I passed through the walls to emerge floating in the air through the roof I heard “I am this house too”; when I saw the cars on the road I heard, “I am these cars too” and “I am the driver too”; when I saw the vast expanse of ocean I heard, “I am this ocean too”; and Similarly I associated myself with other things including the earth, moon and sun as I kept gliding higher and higher. My journey came to a halt when I saw myself in space, floating above the earth. To my left I saw a brilliant moon passing by, with a greater speed than I would have normally expected and in front of me was the Sun. Then, immediately afterwards, my consciousness was right back to what it was initially doing i.e. staring at the wall. This momentary change in consciousness was somewhat like those times when you skip a heartbeat, or miss a step, or when you wake up in a snap after you accidentally dozed off. Except that, in this particular case, I was not sleeping!
Strangely enough, all these events happened in a duration lesser than a blink of an eye. The huge difference in the relativity of time was something that surprised me even more than the things I saw or heard while I was having that little ‘space travel’ 😉 . If I were to consciously imagine about everything that I saw and heard during that experience it would have taken me at least a couple of minutes to do so but, interestingly, my experience finished in just a split second (or a couple of seconds at the most)! The question is – why would I ever, in my right mind, think that ‘I AM the wall or ‘I AM that person’? I swear I have never done drugs (except for a cough syrup which had codeine, once or twice) and I have never had hallucinations till this date (not even another incident like the one in case). Still, if at that time, someone else had told me about having this kind of experience then I would have surely thought the same – “this person must be nuts”.
Obviously, I had a hard time describing this experience to Lambu and Chhotu and quite understandably they didn’t understand. However, a couple of months later, one afternoon I got a call from Lambu. Lambu’s voice was trembling with excitement. “Just listen carefully to what I read”, said Lambu, who then proceeded to read out a passage from an older issue of baba’s spiritual magazine, named ‘Neeleshwari’. The passage was about the experience of one of Baba’s disciple who was accompanying him in one of his foreign tours. That disciple was working a part-time job in a restaurant to earn his expenses and according to what he described (which was far better than my description) he seemed to have experienced the same rally of events, involving the travel of his consciousness and its association with everything that he saw, like I did. Except that, in his case, the event occurred while he was pouring coffee in the cup of one of his customers. It was mentioned that later on when he asked Baba about this incident baba replied that the disciple had received a momentary experience of soul (kshanik Atmanubhav). There, it was! Now I had a documented piece of evidence that there was at least one other person who had had a similar experience as mine and that my experience was indeed supposed to be a spiritual one!
Interestingly, a few days back, one of our fellow bloggers shared a video about OBE or Out-of-Body Experiences. I’m not sure if what I experienced was really an out-of-body experience because I didn’t see a silver cord (supposedly, a common characteristic of OBE’s) or anything else attached to my body (or soul). But then, I didn’t see my body too…I just saw the surroundings. I have tried reading about the out-of-body-experiences and how they can be learnt and practiced at will but the whole idea beats me. Why the heck would I want to do that? What purpose would it serve? I could have given it a thought if I were a teenager but at this age I have a lot of other priorities than travelling in space!
Oh, I forgot to mention one other important point! Immediately after that experience I again lapsed into a phase of extreme bliss that lasted for more than a couple of hours. It was similar to the one described in Kundalini experiences – initiation part 2 when I felt ecstatic and fully contented with myself, without the need or desire of any external stimulation.