Kundalini Experiences – part 8

Caveat: Even though I refrain from posting mature content on my blog, this particular post requires that I write about certain issues which are difficult for me to talk about. My apologies in advance!

It was around 7 pm in the evening and I was casually lying on my bed, trying to relax. I just wanted a few moments of perfect silence, a quickie meditation, if you will…

As I delved deeper into myself, my attention drifted towards some strange sensations arising in the center of my chest. Actually, they seemed more like pulsations…very slow, smooth, and rhythmic (about 1 in every 2-3 seconds). It seemed as if a small balloon was inflating & deflating very slowly and softly within the center of my chest. Those pulsations lingered for a while (but I’m not sure for how long exactly) and after some time they stopped completely. (One more thing – my breathing was almost suspended while those pulsations were happening and I couldn’t feel my heartbeats either.) Anyways, I didn’t think much about those pulsations because stranger things have happened to me in the past. So,…after another few minutes I resumed my regular activities, ate dinner and then finally went off to sleep.

When I woke up the next morning, I realized that I had just seen a dream which exuberated an uncanny sense of mystery. In my dream, I saw myself descending, from what seemed like a raised platform or cliff, onto a ground, which had many large pits. I then proceeded to offer a red sari (a traditional women’s wear for Hindus) with a golden border and small golden floral prints, into one of those pits in that ground. Even though I was offering the sari into a pit I was actually meaning to offer that sari to the ‘Devi’ (Goddess) or ‘Shakti’. Subsequently, after making that offering, I jumped back to the raised platform and was accosted by some people who exclaimed that what I had done is called a ‘Chalan’. They also expressed their wonder on how I managed to do it so easily because performing a ‘Chalan’ requires a very strict ritual and is guided by rules and regulations, failing which, it can even harm the person doing the ‘chalan’. In response to their query I simply replied that I didn’t know about any rules and rituals; I just made the offering to the goddess with full devotion.

Now, the word – ‘Chalan’ (that I heard in my dream) kept ringing in my memory so I gave it a quick search on internet. Unfortunately, that day I didn’t get much success in finding any relevant stuff regarding – any procedure called ‘chalan’, or offering a sari to devi, or offering a sari in a pit. All I found was a mention of one Shakti –Chalan mudra in ‘Hatha Yoga Pradipika’ but there seemed to be a lot of ambiguity on how to perform it.

The next night I saw yet another dream but it was quite graphic in nature. I saw a woman engaged in a sexual act but she looked sad and disinterested. She was staring at me with her blue eyes ….and there was something about the look in her eyes that affected my psyche very profoundly. Since, that day onwards, my thought processes underwent a dramatic change (and this change was more sudden than gradual). Whether this change is temporary or permanent is yet to be seen, but for now, even though I have continued access to all my sources for sensual fulfillment, yet I seem to be largely uninterested in them. It’s not like I have developed an aversion towards sensual pleasures; it’s just that I am not chasing them like I used to. It’s like having water kept in front of me but I simply don’t care because I’m just not feeling thirsty! It’s more like an end of some chase or a dependency….something like a sense of freedom!

Ok, so over the next couple of days, I kept digging the Internet for the word ‘chalan’ and ultimately found the following additional results (as mentioned in my previous post)

  1. Shakti – chalan (one of the three methods given in the Yoga-Kundalini Upanishad for the control of Prana) source: http://www.yoga-age.com/modern/end.html and Shakti-Chalan Mudra – source: http://gurujiamrita.tripod.com/see_goddess2.htm
  2. Chalan – Kriya (linking it to verse 27 of ‘Chid Vilas- Sri Vidya tattva’, and thereby linking it to the Akshaya Tritiya) Source: http://shaktanand.blogspot.in/2011_06_01_archive.html and http://www.rikhiapeeth.in/event/akshay-tritiya-and-sri-vidya-puja-and-diksha/ and http://www.astrojyoti.com/akshayatritiya.htm . Now, since sri-vidya is linked to worshipping of goddess Lalita Tripurasundari (source: http://www.shivashakti.com/tripura.htm) hence it led me to sri Lalitha Sahasranama, and thereby –
  3. A particular verse in the ‘Lalitha Sahasranama’ – “Vakthra lakshmi parivaha chalan meenabha lochana”. (source: http://www.starsai.com/eyes-goddess-lalithambigai-cares-fish-devotees/#comment-7341). When I read the commentary about the word ‘chalan’ in the link mentioned above, I felt that it accurately related with my prevailing condition of going astray from the spiritual path.

So, I went ahead to search for ‘Lalitha Sahasranama’ on you tube and that’s when I found this image in one of the videos of ‘Lalitha Sahasranama’.

Shri Lalita Tripurasundari
Shri Lalita Tripurasundari

Interestingly, this image shows goddess Lalitha wearing the exact same sari that I offered to the Goddess in my dream (red sari with golden border and small golden floral prints). This strengthened my belief that my dream could indeed be related to Goddess Lalitha (who is also related with Kundalini shakti) – (to know more about Goddess Lalita and her association with the Kundalini check out the following link http://www.kamakotimandali.com/srividya/ashtakam.html).

But when I proceeded to listen to ‘Lalitha Sahasranama’ I found that the word ‘chalan’ was being pronounced as (चलन {chalan}) rather than (चालन {chalan}). This confusion arose because, while both चलन and चालन are commonly written as ‘chalan’ in English, चालन is pronounced with a greater emphasis on the ‘a’ (more like Chaalan) as compared to चलन (lesser emphasis on ‘a’) . Needless to say, I was a bit disappointed because what I heard in my dream was चालन rather than चलन. So, the next time, I decided to search for the words shakti-Chalan (as “शक्ति चालन”) in Hindi rather than English (to avoid any further confusion).

(Note: since the word ‘chalan’, on its own, simply means the act of movement or conduction and since I was offering clothes (sari) to the Devi or Shakti, in my dream, when I heard the word ‘chalan’ …so I searched for the words Shakti and chalan together to see if they had any specific meaning)

Interestingly my search yielded some really amazing results, particularly from an older edition of ‘Akhand Jyoti’ (published in the year 1977) – the same magazine from where I got the knowledge about Manipura chakra and its links with the ram (as mentioned in Kundalini experiences – part 4). According to the article published in that magazine – shakti chalan (“शक्ति चालन”) refers to the activation of the dormant Kundalini (शक्ति) and making it mobile so that it starts moving upwards (therefore in this context, chalan (चालन ) refers to the movement or ascension of Kundalini). There’s also a mention about Chalan of  Sarasvati nadi in the Yoga Kundalini Upanishad. The Chalan of  Sarasvati, along with the restraint of the Prana, is said to straighten the Kundalini (which is in a coiled state when dormant). But what really makes this all the more interesting is the fact that the article goes on to assert and describe that – “in the spiritual world, devotion is more fruitful than ritualism”, – the same thing which I said in my dream i.e. “I don’t know about rituals and procedures; I just did it with full devotion”.

(Note: There is a lot more information about Kundalini, Nada-Yoga, and Shakti-Chalan in that article but it’s rather difficult for me to translate all that stuff in English. Anyone who knows Hindi must check out that link: http://aj.awgp.in/upload/uploaded/1977_05-spell_checked.txt)

Anyways, yesterday (on the occasion of Akshaya Tritiya) I decided to go ahead with my initial plan of listening and meditating to the ‘Lalitha Sahasranama’ but I further added the ‘Vishnu Sahasranama’ to the list too because some online sources suggested worshiping Vishnu before worshiping the devi.

So, initially, when I started meditating, some kriyas which have happened to me in past, started happening again. For example – My back and neck arched upwards and backwards as far as it could. Simultaneously my whole abdominal region up to the diaphragm clenched and contracted inwards & upwards very tightly. At the same time I noticed a fluid like motion in my spine…as if air bubbles were passing through a tube filled with a fluid. Furthermore, along with all these kriyas, Bhastrika also started happening. These sets of spontaneous movements or kriyas repeated themselves for a couple of times before I noticed yet another strange happening (which was completely new and, to be honest, a bit embarrassing). I sincerely apologize for being so gross, but it’s absolutely necessary that I write about those things as they could be related with the bigger picture…

So, the next thing that I experienced during my meditation was a pleasant, tingling sensation in my abdominal region. Darn it!…it was almost a full-blown orgasm and that too without an erection (not that I would have preferred that). I apologize again for being so crude but I don’t know how else to describe that experience. Till now I have never experienced anything even remotely similar to that event during my meditation. But what happened next is an understatement for being weird. After a few more sets of involuntary kriyas, that orgasmic feeling shifted from my abdomen to my chest. That’s right! I was actually experiencing an orgasm (or a feeling similar to orgasm) in my chest rather than where it is supposed to be felt normally. It was an intense sensation of pleasure mixed with certain tickling sensations. Eventually, my head, neck, and back became arched upwards and backwards and simultaneously I began emitting audible sounds from my throat and then later I even started laughing. Finally, as if all that was not enough, my chest region started shaking vigorously as if I were doing a dance move from a Bollywood movie. Honestly, I would have rolled on floor with laughter had I seen anyone else doing the same things I was doing at that time. But, regardless of everything else, that ‘thing’ happening in my chest was real…and strange… and I mean really strange ….and really weird too! …. but nonetheless, quite pleasurable!

Anyways, now when I reflect on my dreams, together with my recent experiences during meditation, as well as wakeful state, they do seem to me like bits and pieces of a puzzle forming a bigger picture that seems to be related with the movement of Shakti (shakti-chalan), as well as, with the Anahata chakra or the Vishnu Granthi (judging by those pulsations in my chest; those pleasurable feelings in my abdomen, spine, and chest during meditation; and the changes in my behavior associated with the replacement of lustful feelings with a sense of indifference, particularly after seeing that other dream, which I described previously).

So, finally, yesterday night, I made another quick search on the internet for the words Shakti-Chalan and Anahata (in Hindi) to see if they were related and surprise surprise….this is what I found – link – The relationship of Shakti-Chalan (शक्ति चालन) with Anahata (अनाहत) chakra !

Now, considering all these hints, I am pretty sure that my recent dreams and events indicate that something is really happening to me in regards with the upward movement of the Kundalni and probably with the Anahata chakra (the Heart chakra) or Vishnu Granthi! But, still, I cannot be too sure…only time will tell what is really happening or whether something is happening at all!

Update: 9 May 2014 – 

The parts highlighted in the following screen-shot (Source: http://kundalini.se/eng/natverk.html) correspond to the exact same experiences I mentioned in this post earlier!

'Kundalini Warning! Investigation and Diagnosis of 76 Cases of Kundalini Arousal_' - kundalini_se_eng_natverk_html

Update: 8 June 2014

Another indication about the link between that ‘thing’ happening in my heart and the ‘Lalitha Sahasranamam’ chant that I was listening and meditating to, at that time…

FireShot Screen Capture #011 - 'SERIOUS SADHANA_ SRI LALITA SAHASRANAM_ GLORIES AND BENEFITS OF CHANTING, PLUS STUDY GUIDE' - serioussadhana_blogspot_in_2013_05_sri-lalita-sahasranam-glories-and_html

FireShot Screen Capture #010 - 'SERIOUS SADHANA_ SRI LALITA SAHASRANAM_ GLORIES AND BENEFITS OF CHANTING, PLUS STUDY GUIDE' - serioussadhana_blogspot_in_2013_05_sri-lalita-sahasranam-glories-and_html

FireShot Screen Capture #008 - 'SERIOUS SADHANA_ SRI LALITA SAHASRANAM_ GLORIES AND BENEFITS OF CHANTING, PLUS STUDY GUIDE' - serioussadhana_blogspot_in_2013_05_sri-lalita-sahasranam-glories-and_html

source of the screen-shots: http://serioussadhana.blogspot.in/2013/05/sri-lalita-sahasranam-glories-and.html

Note: The above mentioned website is an excellent source to know about the glory of Sri Lalita sahasranam, as well as, Devi Mahatyam. I would highly recommend a visit to this site!

Update – 17 June 2014

I finally found the significance of offering that red sari in a pit (as I did in my dream).see the  post: Deciphering the dream and the deity…

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